Difficult Conversations

Handling difficult conversations is a crucial and often necessary skill in both private life and in the workplace. Whether it concerns conflicts, misunderstandings or sensitive issues, the ability to handle difficult conversations is crucial for maintaining effective communication and solving problems in a constructive way.

In nursing homes, we often find ourselves in difficult conversations. These are easier to conduct if there is a fundamentally good and appreciative atmosphere in the workplace. Supervision and role-playing can be used to train oneself to become better. Always document difficult conversations while you still have a fresh memory of them. There are many tricks to create better conversations that achieve the goal.

If you suspect that an employee is abusing tablets or alcohol, it must be handled immediately. Otherwise, when you are facing a difficult conversation, it may be good to wait a little. Then the words soften and the message can get through better. Attitude problems or a negative attitude towards tasks often involve difficult conversations. Body odor is another sensitive topic that can be difficult to bring up. The same if someone does not seem to be well and behaves differently at the workplace. You can't postpone uncomfortable conversations for too long. It still has to be relevant.

Creating a Good Foundation for Difficult Conversations

If you have an atmosphere that is fundamentally appreciative, it is easier to both give and receive criticism when it is warranted. Do not mix praise and criticism, it risks confusing the conversation and wrapping the criticism.

The first step in handling difficult conversations is to prepare in the right way. It is important to be clear about what you want to achieve through the conversation and have a clear understanding of your own standpoint. By being prepared, you can avoid reacting impulsively and instead communicate in a more constructive way. If you are now facing a difficult conversation, consider - What is your purpose with the conversation? What do you want to achieve? What would be a perfect result?

When it comes to the conversation itself, it is important to have a safe and neutral place where both parties can express their opinions without being interrupted or feeling threatened. Start by saying that you will bring up something difficult/uncomfortable/sensitive. Deliver your message straight. Do not wrap it in a lot of questions to "show that you care about", it only creates confusion. Once you've delivered your message, you can ask for the other person's thoughts on what you've said.

During the conversation itself, it is important to communicate in a respectful and constructive way. Being clear and honest is important, but it is also important to avoid being offensive or using aggressive words. Focus on actual events and avoid giving personal judgments.

Handling Emotions

Do not be afraid of emotions, emotions are harmless. The other person may cry, react with anger or other strong emotions. Show that you understand that it is difficult, but otherwise be quiet. Do not get carried away by the other person's emotions. Do not back down from your message out of any form of compassion. Try to see any good intentions, but do not back down from the consequences of the behavior. To build trust and show empathy, it is important to be responsive and show that you understand the other person's point of view.

Leaving a message does not take more than a few minutes, but it takes time to listen to the employee's experience and to, if possible, agree on how to move forward. Start by saying "I want" instead of "You are". Point out the behavior, not the character traits of the individual. It's okay to be lazy, but I need to know that you are doing your tasks satisfactorily. Once you've told what you see, avoid statements, which are easily perceived as criticism. Instead, work with questions.
It is also important to be aware of your own reaction to difficult conversations. It is natural to feel stressed or unsure, but it is important not to let these feelings take over. Try to be aware of your own emotions and reactions, and if necessary, you can pause the conversation and come back to it later when you are more collected.

Achieving Change

Finally, it is important not to get stuck in the problem-solving trap. Sometimes difficult conversations can be difficult to resolve directly. Sometimes it can be more effective to just listen and show understanding for the other person's perspective. Sometimes it may also require that you take a few days to think about the situation and come back to the conversation with a more constructive solution.

Behavior changes do not come by themselves. If you want to achieve a behavior change, you must follow up the measures. Feel free to give praise and encouragement in contexts where you see that the employee has changed their behavior. Praise and encouragement are a stronger driving force for behavior change than criticism. Do not forget that the conversation partner is an adult person with responsibility for their life and their actions.

In summary, the handling of difficult conversations is crucial for building strong relationships and solving problems in a constructive way. By being prepared, communicating clearly and respectfully, and being open to listening to the other person's perspective, you can create an atmosphere of trust and openness that promotes effective communication and problem solving.

Reflection - Difficult Conversations
Care Personnel:
• What do you do to have an appreciative and supportive culture in your workplace?
• How do you want to be perceived by your colleagues, the residents and your bosses?
• How do you lead yourself to be a good employee and colleague?

Manager, Nurse, Occupational Therapist and Physiotherapist:
• What do you do to create an open and encouraging atmosphere?
• How do you make sure you are perceived as positive and engaged?
• Do you evaluate how employees perceive the climate at the workplace?

Resident and Relatives:
• How do you contribute to a positive and developing atmosphere at the residence?

Erland Olsson
Specialist Nurse
Sofrosyne - Better care every day